Parenting Sleep: It's Like Regular Sleep, But Without the Sleep
When Will My Baby Sleep Through The Night?
The most googled question when it comes to baby sleep. So let’s unpack this.
If this is your first rodeo, that ten tonne truck has hit you and is reversing for more. You are recovering from birth, that baby rave you are attending multiple times each night is wearing thin and sleep deprivation is now a personality trait.
I hear you - it feels like literal torture. When will this end? I really want to give you the exact date, time and co-ordinates of this magical moment but the reality is, it’s anyone’s guess. However! I do have some life hacks for you, so stay with me.
So First, What Actually Is “Sleeping Through The Night” ?
Before you start to compare your bubs to your friend’s sleeping angel who “slept 12 hours from 8 weeks”, we need to start on the same page because a parents idea of sleeping through is a tad optimistic.
When paediatricians or us sleep consultants talk about “sleeping through the night”, they mean an uninterrupted stretch of 6-8 hours without needing a parent’s help to get back to sleep.
Here’s The Tea
You’re desperate to know when this incredible 6-8 hour stretch starts to happen. Us Mama’s need our beauty sleep!
4-6 Month Zone
Why can it start to happen at this age?
Physical Readiness: By this age, most baby’s stomachs have grown enough now to go 6-8 hours without feeds. If they are still waking for milk, they may genuinely still be hungry but a lot of babies wake out of habit or comfort.
Routine: Your circadian rhythm has definitely left the chat, but as your baby’s rhythm matures, and you start to really get into the swing of that bedtime routine, those longer stretches of sleep start to come into play.
Learning To Self Settle: Babies who have learnt to successfully connect their sleep cycles can get themselves back off to sleep during those night wakings and aren’t calling out for your help.
Real Talk: While 50-70% of babies can achieve a 6-hour stretch by 6 months, this means that 30-50% of babies don’t. My son started to sleep through at 5 months old whilst my daughter didn’t sleep through until 10 months. So if your baby is in that 30-50% they are normal. Let go of the mum guilt.
The 9-12 Month Milestone
Some baba’s are still night feeding at this age, which again is totally developmentally normal. Sleep stretches could be for around 8-10 hours at this stage with feeds included.
The “ Whenever The Heck They’re Ready” Approach
The biggest factor is your unique baby! Each and every baby develops at different rates and stages. This is absolutely okay! Totally no reflection of your parenting skills.
Some Game Changing Tips
Whilst we can’t rush biology, we can set those foundations for nailing this sleep thing.
Keep That Daytime Sleep In Check: A baby will only sleep for a certain number of hours within a 24 hour period. If they are getting too much daytime sleep, they will not be tired enough for that big night time stretch. Equally, if they are not getting enough then over tiredness can take over which can mess with their overnight sleep.
Hit A Win At Bedtime: I would say the biggest factor of your baby both sleeping well and sleeping through (when they are developmentally ready) is whether you baby can fall asleep by themselves, particularly at bedtime. If the last step of their routine requires you (rocking, feeding, cuddling) to sleep, then they are going to need the exact same when they wake in the night too.
Stay Consistent
Consistency is the secret when it comes to bedtime. Those constant sequence of steps ( bath, story, milk) helps babies to know what is coming next, to help them feel safer and secure, and to know that it is almost time for long periods of sleep.
Check For Genuine Hunger
The best way to check for hunger (after around 6 months of age) throughout the night is to monitor how much milk baby is having. If they are just taking an ounce or two, or not feeding for very long on the breast then your baby is feeding for comfort and not necessarily for hunger.
Your Action Plan
Hold in there mama, you will get your sleep back. It might be tomorrow, or in three months but it will happen. Set those foundations and ignore the “back in my day” advice. You are smashing it!